How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships
How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

There are only two events powerful enough to shatter the protective casing that ordinarily surrounds the heart and keeps its life-giving energies contained. The first is to fall in love, to meet someone whose existence so thrills you that you get torn open by feelings and joys you never knew before. The second is to have your heart broken, to lose the love that was sustenance to your soul and to be left behind, discarded, desolate, and devastated. On the path of love, both are apparently necessary. Both happened to Rumi. Both have happened to me. Haven’t they happened to you?* 

(*Full Document for Download Below).

How to Survive the Heart Break of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships…

One bleak and desperate day, a wise soul, well-weathered in The Way, said …

“God will break your heart over and over again. Until it stays open.”

I’m sure that all of us would like a joyous, open heart, wouldn’t we – yet this guide’s statement offers no solace whatsoever to the ears of one whose heart has just been broken. And since heart break is assured on the path of Radical Devotional Advaita, its certainly not a route for the faint hearted in that the recommended practice encourages us to risk everything.

Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

Indeed, this centuries old tradition urges us to plunge to the depths of our Devotion, to fathoms further, and realms vaster, to beyond the deepest, fullest Love ever. All in order to uncover the Source of the Love itself, to then identify with that Love and to become it. To come finally to complete rest at that ineffable place where Devotee, Devoting and Devoted unite, where Lover, Loving and Loved are one. True communion.

Such is the prize. Yet flinging our entire being into the certainly uncertain arms of abject vulnerability through total surrender and absolute trust in our Beloved has the potential in its sheer potency to quite literally annihilate us in the process where you actually ‘die’ to this ‘other.’ Where we have become drowned by our Devotion. A Devotion which has become so potent, so purified, so fervent that you would take that annihilation a million times over for him or for her. Die a million deaths. And this is, of course, the price we pay on this Path to realizing the Self.

To Love & Be Loved

It is of our own soul’s asking. For the greatest of all human emotions is Love and so therein lies the call, the Love call of the inner Guru that whispers sweet, breathy caresses to entice our innermost longing and yearning. Love is what we all seek. To Love and to be Loved is really the goal of all of us. And, if we’re lucky, we do Love and we are Loved whether it be by a girlfriend, husband, father or dog. And if not, then that’s where we start, in exercising the muscle until we’re able to feel, to experience, its transformative effect. A good place to start is by being loving, by giving of yourself without any expectation of return and simply feel how you feel by being of Service.

“Never forget the most important thing, Love, Compassion and Humility. For this is who you really are. Our Mission on This Earth is to be of Service to Humanity.” ~ Robert Adams

However little or however much we might feel Love, one day, in whatever way, the inevitable pistol surely arrives and a bullet of annihilation ricochets off our heart, smashing our hopes and dreams into smithereens.

Whomever or whatever we Loved goes away, hurts us, cheats on us, denies us, finds another, divorces us or gets sick and dies.

Whatever happens, personal Love always changes, never lasts. And what remains in the absence, in the void devoid of this Love? Pain, confusion, anger, hurt, grief …So many things we must face as we learn how to survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

The more we Loved, the greater our heart aches and our body cries out in a desperation and a longing beyond anything we could ever have imagined. Our entire soul experiences the crushing agony of separation, the pointless futility and darkness of living in loss. Devotion is dead. And as we disappear, so the path too disappears, often for years as we attempt to drag ourselves from the wounds of our emotional war. Wounds that gape, weep.

Love is Whole

And just when we feel we might be beginning to cope, something happens, pulls at the scab and it bleeds once more, clots and dries, over and over and over. Even then, our scar remains. And we ask, why, why, why? When we Loved so fully, so totally, when we committed and gave every drop of ourselves. I deserve this? Am I being tested? My soul mate, my twin flame, my one and only, the beat of my heart and my very life blood itself would do this, could do this, to me? We fall apart…

Of course, we completely fail to appreciate that we fell together in order to have the golden opportunity to fall apart and that treasure that arises is for us to realize that as one heart, we are never actually apart. But this realization takes effort. Effort that will only arise in the vacuum, the void created by the seeming absence and emptiness of objectified love. In the intensity of our longing, our calling, our despair to find a reason for our existence, the fortunate among us will naturally go deep inside. This is where a guide on the path is most useful.

And the great guide says: “Go within, or go without.”

The Return Home to Your Self

Advising us to turn that Love for the Beloved, (the trigger) back inward to ourself. To locate and sensate that feeling of existence, that resonance that vibrates “I Am.” And to build a relationship with that, befriend it, get to know it, to Love it as you, to worship it. To re-devote yourself to you. Because you’re worth that. And as you do so, it responds to you, like a ‘call and response’ chant. Unfolds like the dawn to your birdsong. It grows in you, becomes clearer and louder, brighter and lighter.

And so as you commune, together with the I Am, you feel less alone. You feel a presence that stays within you, you come to recognize something new yet altogether familiar. You touch You. And finally, that door of your heart opens a little. Creaks and takes a look at a new view. Different? Definitely. Disconcerting? Sure. Devotional? To whom? And so you continue the practice of going within.

“…no bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings” ~ William Blake

All the while the inner voice is telling you in no uncertain terms that it’s not safe to Devote to another object, at least not a live one. So in our growing need to Devote to something, we might chose a mountain, as did Ramana, or we might choose a dead Guru, as many do. Safer you see. After all, the dead ones can’t break your heart in quite the way the living can.

The Inhale & Exhale

In the fullness of time, as you begin to re-breathe the breath of life, and to feel accepting of the mystery of passions lost, your soul starts to speak once more, to ‘call’ in readiness for another taste of outer directed loving. And so the Beloved – clothed in a new form – appears in front of us and we wrestle…

We wrestle because, as Lovers, we’re incapable of “falling asleep at the gathering” as Rumi puts it. We Love. But we fear. We fear deep Love. We fear a repeat of such loss, hurt, pain and anguish. Terror arrises at the prospect of going there again, once bitten, twice shy. Yet go there and break through that barrier we must.

“In the cave of your greatest fear lies your treasure”

The appearance of a new Beloved is of course a blessing, having the healing effect of a gauze impregnated with honey draped on the gash of our soul, warmly enticing any encumbering putrefied pus of still-remembered suffering to be drawn up and out of us. The inevitable lancing of the head of that last remaining pustule brings peace. The infection of our last insanely deep Love gone, we feel free to move on.

And so it happens again… We can’t help ourselves from falling into Love for we are Devotees, our in-borne tendency is to be Devoted to Devoting.

‘Another’ Lover

Each time another ‘Lover’ appears, the bottle, the grape, how it’s been grown, it’s fermentation process, are different. And as a taster, your palate has moved on to acquire a greater degree of discernment. As a drinker, your thirst seems far deeper to quench. You seek to sample a rarer, more exquisite vintage, one more mature, fuller bodied, developed in its richness with a complex and exciting array of finer notes and bouquet. You have become a connoisseur in the Art of Adoration.

You’re different, you’re deeper, more expert and, by association, so is the corresponding Beloved. This is Grace at work. 

Drink Deeply

The call of The Divine to drink deeply means your sobriety is gone forevermore. This wine, this time, offers the opportunity for mutual exploration, for merging with a degree of unity neither of you have encountered before, to experience a depth of inebriated Love so utterly profound that together you helplessly fall to your knees and worship one another, intoxicated as Divinity. Itself.

How to Survive the Heart Break of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships
How to Survive the Heart Break of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

The sober ones are strangers to you. This matters not. For even the most fleeting glance of The Beloved, the merest sip, the faintest suggestion of that fragrance, and your self revels in itSelf and dissolves completely, utterly held. Your Devotion, your Adoration is utterly irresistible to God, Idol, Lover and to existence itself and you fall to the floor, limp, melted, stupefied with the ascent, the descent, the totality of Grace, imploding, squirting, gushing and exploding in effulgence and full immersion in boundless Love, a Love that would never, could never, let you go.

A Love that is YOU, the Self, the nature of us ALL.

A Love that transcends physicality, looks, age, gender, religion, social status and profession, encompassing all and everyone, every animal, all sentience, as one and the SAME.

Radical Devotional Advaita

The body literally quivers and whimpers for that touch, that recognition, that moment of sweetest caress, that meeting, reciprocation, where Radical Devotional Advaita culminates with such potency and power, way beyond nuclear. Where two galaxies intertwine, converge, conjoin. A supernova has come, is borne! The constellations themselves explode out of ‘you’ and you know without doubt that even the stars are themselves in your eyes. Plutonic power erupts out of you as the cosmos itself comes to an orgasm that births the entirety of God and all – and beyond even That.


How to Survive the Heart Break of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships
How to Survive the Heart Break of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships


If you really knew what was going on you would rejoice.
If you really, really knew what was happening you would cry for joy.
The universe Loves you.
What you call God Loves you.
Brahman Loves you, for you are That, your Self.
Therefore your nature is Love.
When I say these things Love you, I am reversing the process to make you understand that your nature is Love.
It is your Love that creates the universe.
It is your Love that Loves.
Otherwise where would it come from?

So to make people understand that their nature is Love, I tell them the universe Loves them, God Loves them.

– Robert Adams –


Fisher of Men

You also know that your very presence on this planet has the potentiality to aid the entire known Universe. And so although you are “not of the world,” as Jesus said, you come back into the world as Love, as a fisher of men, to net and serve the rest of yourself, all of sentient life, in doing whatever you can to take the burden of their suffering, to help heal hurting hearts, to be forgiveness, mercy and solace.

“Love is not the business of delicate people. Who fall asleep at the gathering. Love is for brave ones, for wrestlers, o son.” ~ Rumi

How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships
How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

You have within you a message of hope for everyone for no-one is any different to this of what I speak. Each has the potentiality to uncover the miracle of themselves. And so you encourage others to go beyond all reason to feel, to go beyond all reason to Love. To take that chance, for Love is the only way. Love is the only safety.

When you give yourself to the Beloved, and allow your heart to break over and over, bleeding to the very last drop, longing and yearning for Love, the Beloved (who is always listening) surely comes. You will not only find a way to survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships, you will learn to thrive.

The Answer Within

You will discover for yourself that, as Rumi said “the cure for the pain is in the pain.” 

So allow the Beloved again and again and again. “God will break your heart over and over. Until it stays open.”  And when it does, your goblet will overflow with the vintage of everlasting Grace, Bliss, Joy and unalloyed Happiness. You will be wide awake in Immaculate Awe and Wonderment, Beauty, Purity … Divinity.

Heartbreak – a gift worth sharing. Feel free to talk in confidence with Deeya or one of her trusted and trained confidantes via her Helpline for the Heartbroken, the Kindle My Heart’s Flame Heart2Heart Line. We’re here to hear you.


The Potency & Potentiality of Pure Love through Radical Devotion

(and it’s Role in Self-Realization)


Download the full document here:

The Power & Potency of Love.pdf

How to Download:

PC users: Right-click on the download link & choose ‘Save Link’
Mac users: Ctrl-click or command-click & choose ‘Download Link’




If you enjoyed this post please like and share the love on your social media pages, or leave a comment below.

‘I am in you and you in me, mutual divine love’. ~ William Blake


3 Responses to How to Survive the Heartbreak of Soul Mate and Twin Flame Relationships

  1. Amazing post. thank you. I know I need to go inward with the pain, I just wasn’t sure how… pray, meditate… I am about to start teaching bhakti yoga on Sunday mornings and I have a feeling there will be a lot of crying and opening.

  2. I have been in that Deepest Love, Burning Love relationship with my Soul Partner for about 15 years now.
    I literally tore apart and thought I would explode, my heart was so ON FIRE that strangers would comment.
    Someone even said that it was a sin to Love someone so much…
    That gal and I have been married for 13 years now and it has lessened a little but that flame is still
    burning so so strong. We both study and practice your deepest teachings and Love you also Deeya !


  3. My twin flame and I reconnected after 17 years and had a 9 year relationship. He went through a psychotic episod e and raged and split with me for no realistic reason other than to take care of himself as he needed to. I yearn for him and 4 months later the hurt is deeper, the longing is harder. All that I study says to work on myself and not even contact him. But I am contacting him to visit the dog I cared for solely for 6 years, he had had her for 4 mos prior and was not allowed to keep her. He kidnapped her when he broke it off with me. I yearn for unity. I have been talking to other men to find a companion, but know that I love my twin flame as much as ever and feel it unfair to start a relationship with another man.

Leave a reply


Copyright © Deeya 2013 - 2022 All Rights Reserved | Design: